Why women should check on their husbands?

A man was helping his wife in the kitchen with some stuffs, to his greatest surprised she  hit him with a frying pan than he asked why are you doing this baby? Then she said I found a paper in your pocket with the name Esther. He answer and, said baby that is the name of  the horse I want to buy  she apologized, and went her way. few days later he got hit with a bigger frying pan he asked again why baby? and she answer, and said your horse just called.

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The reason why woman always check on their husbands is because they do not want them chatting; Chatting hurts a lot. As I am sitting here writing this blog I  realized how it hurts our heavenly father when we chat him off his commands, this something we take for granted. Women are our mothers, sisters, aunty, and wife it depends on the role they play in our lives that makes them more concerns about us.

stock-photo-cheerful-woman-helping-husband-to-get-ready-in-the-morning-543547252                                                   A good wife helping her husband

A real wife will always check on her husbands, on matters what because they want him to live a good life. Is the same way our heavenly father check on us every time because he care and want us to live a good life, he don’t want us to live a life that will caused us to go the wrong path. I sometimes see husbands complaining about their wives checking on them like a watch dog, and they feels like a kid  been baby sits no! that’s wrong!!

Went you get married you become a baby to your wife they watch over you and baby sits you. You become their personnel property ,and you need to behave like one. I am going to share some important thought about the role women plays in the life of men, and I want all men to take tis very serious and live by it these are my very best because I am a victim of it.

#1: Be a helper to your husband. While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). It is interesting to note that the Hebrew meaning of the word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that we women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands’ lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be.

#2: Respect your husband. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, ” … the wife must respect her husband.” When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.

Our husbands have many needs. The macho man who is self-contained, independent, and invulnerable is a myth. One day Dennis gave me a list of what he considered to be some of the primary needs most men have:

  • Self-confidence in his personhood as a man
  • To be listened to
  • Companionship
  • To be needed

To me, meeting these needs is what respecting your husband is all about. To bolster Dennis’s confidence, for example, I try to encourage him by being his number one fan. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, but most of all to be his cheerleader. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him,appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.

#3: Love your husband. Titus 2:4 calls for wives “to love their husbands.” A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is “unconditional acceptance.” In other words, accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.

Love also means being committed to a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship. I realize there is a whole lot more to love than sex, but we are looking at how to fulfill God’s command to love our husbands. Therefore, we must look at love from their perspective, not just our own.

Surveys show that sex is one of a man’s most important needs—if not the most important. When a wife resists intimacy, is uninterested, or is only passively interested, her husband may feel rejection. It will cut at his self-image, tear at him to the very center of his being, and create isolation.

My husband’s sexual needs should be more important and higher on my priority list than menus, housework, projects, activities, and even the children. It does not mean that I should think about sex all day and every day, but it does mean that I find ways to remember my husband and his needs. It means I save some of my energy for him. It keeps me from being selfish and living only for my own needs and wants. Maintaining that focus helps me defeat isolation in our marriage.

#4: Submit to the leadership of your husband. Just mention the word “submission,” and many women immediately become angry and even hostile. This controversial concept has been highly debated and misunderstood.

Some husbands and wives actually believe submission indicates that women are inferior to men in some way. I have known women who think that if they submit they will lose their identity and become non-persons. Others fear (some with good reason) that submission leads to being used or abused.

Another misconception is that submission means blind obedience on the part of the woman. She can give no input to her husband, question nothing, and only stay obediently barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

What does God have in mind? Here are two passages from Scripture

thA woman should always love their husband…..

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. —Ephesians 5:22-30

These Scriptures make it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s sensitive and loving leadership. Therefore, as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him. I am helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and I am helping him become the man, the husband, and the leader God intended him to be.
Building oneness in marriage works best when both spouses choose to fulfill their responsibilities voluntarily, with no pressure or coercion. To become the servant-leader God has commanded him to be, Dennis needs my gracious respect and submission. And when Dennis loves me the way he is commanded to, I can more easily submit myself to that leadership.
I do this with an attitude of entrusting myself to God. In one of his letters, Peter told us that even though Jesus suffered terrible pain and insults, He did not retaliate “but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Peter 2:23). When you entrust your life to the Father, it’s much easier to be the wife of an imperfect man, particularly when you may have disagreements.

A special note: Some of you may live with abuse or in excessively unhealthy and destructive conditions in your marriage. At times, it may be inappropriate or even life-threatening for you to apply unquestioningly the principles of submission. For example, if you are being physically or verbally abused, you need to take steps to protect yourself and your children. If you are in that situation, please discerningly seek out your pastor or someone wise who has been trained to help with your specific issue.

Loving, forgiving, and submitting do not mean that you become a doormat or indefinitely tolerate significantly destructive behavior.

How it all fits together

If you have ever sewn a dress, or attempted to sew one, you know how a pattern works. The pattern is made of many pieces, some large and some small, none of which accurately resemble the finished product.

When you lay out the pattern and cut the cloth, you do not have a garment but only some scraps of cloth. When it is properly assembled and made usable with buttons, snaps, or a zipper, these pieces make a complete dress.

Every pattern has pairs of parts: two sleeves, two bodice pieces, a front and back skirt, and even the collar and facing pieces are usually in twos. A marriage is very similar. God has designed a master pattern for husbands and wives that, when followed, will create a whole, usable, beautiful marriage.

In the same way a dress can be made in a variety of sizes and colors with numerous differences in detail from one pattern, so my marriage may look different from yours. As we acknowledge Christ as Lord of our lives, we must work out our marriages according to God’s plan. The key is for each wife to follow God’s plan, know her part, and work to fit in with her husband’s responsibilities.

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You can be that wife God wants you to be……

 

 

 

 

 

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words transfer to anger

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My beautiful wife

The spirit of insulting was transfer to me from my aunty Hannah kpandee these where the words she always used around us shit, ass,fuck, and fuzzy. I actually lived with her for three years it was during these years the  habits of insulting  where transfer to me through a demonic spirit.When ever i mentioned this around my friends they always think that i am trying to shift blame on somebody for the pain, and the shame I have caused for my family during my time of anger.

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there are few things i want you to know in this blog the first one is what is anger? why do we get angry?  and why is good to control our anger? As fellow blogger Steven Stosny pointed out two decades ago) are such core hurts as feeling disregarded, unimportant, accused, guilty,untrustworthy, devalued, rejected, powerless, and unlovable. And these feelings are capable of engendering considerable emotional pain. It’s therefore understandable that so many of us might go to great lengths to find ways of distancing ourselves from them.

Among these are  two words that trackers me to anger ( devalued,unlovable) theses are the two things  that always make me angry when ever my wife  makes me feel this way my anger rises than i will  start to used those bad words on my wife. the bad part about this i used these words  amongst people which makes it shameful and embarrassing.  download

the words that was mentioned in the first paragraph were the  exact words that  were used by my anuty.  I later got to notice this  during a dream. when ever i am angry these words starts to manifest through me not knowing the embarrassment i caused to my family during this time.

My aunt was a very beautiful woman, she was the last born to my grandmother. She had  a six (6) grade education,and was found of her beautiful smiles always willing to accept her brothers and sisters children. Her spirit of togetherness and unity was widely known among the family members.

Aunty Hannah was so much loved that almost all the nieces, and nephews lived with her. But aunty Hannah was also known for her bad expressions. She was comely known as ”mama waste it” which means the person under discussions is not afraid to used bad words to people around them.  Once you lived with ‘HK’ we normally call her you must  know how to use insulting words without fear.

For this reason my mother try hard  not to allow me, and my sister spent longer time with her. I spent three years with my aunt in Guinea, It was during this time i got to know my anut. Aunt was a wonderful woman joyous, always smiling, caring, generous,ETC. Strongly believe in the African traditions for this reason she never went to church like her brothers, and sisters did. When ever she had a problem her only remedy was to go to a native doctor.

That was the real anuty Hannah, a women who had no moral values,never thought us the moral values of life no wonder why mom try hard to stop us from going around her sister. There’s no body in the family that don’t know (HK) for her uncivilized behavior and her immoral behavior in bringing up children.Our African tradition allows for every parents to contribute in the up bringing of their children in the family and the communities.

The title of this blog WORDS TRANSFER INTO ANGER  is a true life story about how those bad words that i just mentioned in the first paragraph was transfer to me through a demonic spirit.  This was revealed to me in a dream i had  the April of 2016. When  we got married the first two years had been serious ups and down between my wife and i.

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my wife cries when ever i insult her

When ever I get mad at her, I start to used those words on my wife without even knowing that I’m using them. Sometimes the next day before she or my friends starts to tell me about the way i insulted my wife. This is something that normally happens but i don’t remember what ever word that was said to my wife during this time the words just come out like normal words.

It was not until my wife got mad and lift for her mother’s placed because she was tired of taking insults from me. This was the first time my wife slept out of the house since we got married in three years. She was so mad with me this time after i insulted her the night before. That night when I went to bed i saw my mother in a  dream is liked i was standing watching people beating an evil spirit out off a girl who was posses with evil spirits

whiled watching my mother came and stood right beside me all dress up in a normal white suit someone will always see a spirit dress-up in. And she said Duyaan, as i turn i saw her clearly she had that smile i always remember about her, she than held me by the right hand and said if you don’t stop insulting your wife that is how you are going to suffer when you die.This is why in one of my blogs call:THE HAPPINESS PARADOX I talked about the four pillars of happiness

here are few lesson learned from this life experience.

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  •  discovering  your mistakes,
  • accepting it
  • and taking a positive turn

if theses three things are done you are indeed finding the road to becoming successful person. Taking a positive turn is one of my blogs i posted the positive turn is what leads you to your destiny is like traveling on a road with out a map as a smart driver, what will be your decision?. there is a African saying ‘ the stranger that refused to asked questioned follow the corps to the graved” .direction

 So if you are driving in any part of west Africa, with out a map your decision should be asking anybody along the road for help. Now, i want you to see the logic in this. when we’re no the wrong path there are two forces that controls us. One is from the dark world, and the other is from the kingdom of light.

These two forces controls us physically, but sometimes we are too bland to realized this. what do i mean? when we find our yourselves with friends who leads us to do bad things we just find yourselves  doing those things because the people you are with are your friends and we  do any thing to keep that friendship. for instants the reason why more young people find their self  smoking, and doing things that will destroy them is because of peer pressure. these are the people that have been used by the dark world to stop you from reaching your full potential.

On the other hand there will be people who will also tell us that we are not doing the right thing. maybe that person will come from your community or your close friend somebody somewhere will advised you about your doing all even try their best to see you do the right thing. There where you need to take that positive turn. To concluded you have to make a choice and that choice will be accepting either of the offer to remain where you are or accepting the direction from the person in the town or the one along the roadside.

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The next bullet point is accepting it, accepting that you are not using the right direction. Is hard sometimes for people to accept that they are not doing the right things  this is cause by pride. pride is like a slow poison that creeps up into us silently, tell it’s mission is accomplished pride remain and damage us.

We have to be able to accept that we are doing the wrong thing when we do this pride find its way out, and we find our selves taking the right directions that will make people happy.

The last is discovering your mistakes you have to find the root of your problem and fixed it. Asked yourself what is the caused thing are not going the way it should? when you go through the story you will understand that i discovered the problem this is while me and wife don’t face that problem anymore.

 

 

 

THE HAPPINESS PARADOX

Whatever you wrote on your list, chances are those  things, places,people, and experience that you believe will make you happy.You my object, saying that you have written some of the things on your list because you know that by doing them, you will make someone else happy. But by making them happy, you will also share in that happiness. Even if you wrote on your list that you wanted world peace and to feel the starving people in Africa and wrote things for completely alruistic reason…their attainment will also bring you great happiness.

the things you put on your list represent happiness to you.

Everybody wants to be happy.You want to be happy. and I want to be happy. The human person has a natural thirst for happiness,and we do the things we do because we believe they will make us happy.

From time to time, people do stupit things. We may look at them and scratch our heads. We may wonder, ”why would anybody ever do something so stupid?” or don’t they know that is going to make them misserable?” But be assured, the reason people do stupid things is because they mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy.

People do not wake up in the morning and ask themselves,” How can make myself misserable today?”

The human heart is on a quest for happiness. We give this happiness different names, and masks,and  we live our lives in search of it. This is the great modern paradox: We know the things that make us happy;we just don’t do them.

There are four aspect to the human person:physical, emotional,intellectual, and spiritual.

Physical,when you exercise regularly,sleep regularly, eat the right sort of food,and balance your diet, how do you feel? You feel fantastic. you feel more fully alive, you’re healthier, happier, and you have richer, more abundant experience of life.

Emotionally, when you give focus and priority to your relationships, what happens? you switch of yourself and onto others. As you do, your ability to love increase…and as your ability to love increases, your ability to be loved increases.You become more aware of yourself, develop a more balancee view of life, and experience a deeper sense of fulfillment. You’re healthier. You’re happier.

intellectually, when you take ten or fifteen minutes a day to read book,what happens?Your vision of yourself expands; your vision of the word expands. you become more focused,more alert, and more vibrant.Clarity replaces confusion. You feel more fully alive,and are happier.

Finally, spiritually, when you take a moments each day to step in to classroom of silence and reconnect with yourself  and with your God, what happens? the gentle voic with in grows stronger, and you develop a deeper sense of peace, purpose, and direction.You’re healthier, you’re happier, and you have a richer experience of life.

Physical,Emotionally,intellectually,and spiritually, we know  the things that infuse our our lives with passion and enthusiasm. We know the things that make us happy. We just don’t do them. It dosen’s make sense, does it? On the one hand, we all want to be happy.But we don’t do those  things. Why? simple. We we are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.

This is the paradox of happiness that has bewitched our age.

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my little deaugter and I

 

 

Taking a positive turn in life.

As we grow up we sometimes find ourselves with friends, that lead us in doing things that will destroyed our future. This is why we have to be careful with the types of friends we go around during our teens. Is difficult to sometimes know the best  friends, that come our way.

If you find yourself with people, you think  will destroy your youth/aduilt hood you have to make a decision. And that decision should be a real one not the one you make, and later turn back to the same old friends. Taking a positive turn will be the best thing to do before your 40 year birthday cause that turn sometimes lead you to your destiny.

Is it posible to make that turn or decision?  This  question  need to be answer for many people  who are now the victim of this.For my experience (yes) would be my answer. After the death of my mother in 1998, I saw my self hanging around with friends who started encouraging me in some bad habits like drinking alcohol, sleeping aound and disrespecting  people in my community.

Because we were at war at that time, so, I really didn’t bother about going back to school. I thought life was just seeing all the hurrible things around me, was enough for me to think like a dead man. And that life was just about living at that moment, and there was no need to go back to school because i will soon die.

I also want to say a big thank to my late mother (Esther Kpandee Bolo)who did well in giving me and my little sister the foundation of education. This help me to take a break, and look back at what my mother had imparted in me and my sister. To be satisfied  with life,you need to  change  and adapt to changes.

The good news! is no one can do it for you but you. The first step is always the hardest thing to do but you have to make that choice with determination, and the right mindset. The process of changing is very difficult, and challenging because your life have alrightly  been adapted to the passed life.

changing from one thing to another can be difficult at times, but there is nothing too difficult for you to do. The moment you make that decision what lies around the corner can (and will) be compleletly different.  watch-up for the next alticleIMG_20160128_091231